Identity Crisis

Do you ever stop and wonder, why did I just do that?  Or, I wish I was brave / strong enough to try that?  I have had many such moments in my life, the strongest and most vivid still being my education degree with me about to embark on my three month practicum.  My metaphor for my life that year was a bridge that I was going to at one point step on and leave one side to traverse slowly but surely towards the other.  It was a scary, exciting, and fun-filled year.  I learned as much about myself as the material the professors were trying to squeeze into our brains.  It also changed my life – I was now a teacher with a purpose; to inspire kids and teach them about what I am so passionate about: art.  And not just about art, but about expression, life, and how each one of us can use talents we possess to create and be creative.  To make and do and be unique.  I love to make art, and I love to pass on the skills I have to others, especially when they are keen to learn and try their own ideas out.
Fast-forward to today.  Tomorrow is my last day of work for the next year.  Don’t get me wrong – my profession is certainly not my life; I have many other interests and people who I enjoy spending time with.   However, I have taught for the last four years and it has been a great experience.  Tomorrow marks a new milestone for me.  And like it or not, I can say, “I’m not ready for this next phase!” but it’s going to come anyways and like my teaching experience, it will be great, and fun-filled, full of suprises and learning curves.

I like the fact that people continue to change throughout their lives.  We mature in some ways as we gain more experience in life, while in other areas, especially when we try new things, we are kind of like kids again, having to stumble and grow before we become proficient at the task.  We get to try on different parts of our character in different capacities.  My paintings for today were painted a couple of years ago, but I felt like they were very connected to how I’m currently feeling.  It’s supposed to be the same person with three different faces.  It could be three totally different people, with different personalities.  Perhaps the one has evolved into each picture as time has gone on.  I don’t know.  I didn’t know when I painted them.  To be honest, I was painting with expression and wanted to just give-er’ with the colours.  Sometimes it just feels good to “let it out”.  Where are you at these days?

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2 thoughts on “Identity Crisis

  1. These faces sure do connect to different phases in a person’s life – I forgot you even did them – and they look great! You can analyze away – and you know I love to do that with paintings – which face were you today – your last day of teaching for a while? I do think that when you go back to teaching after your maternity leave is over – that having had a baby will only make you an even better teacher!

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